Hymns and Memories.

This was my first Easter not being with my family. I didn't realize how much I really wanted to be there until I couldn't be. I loved the people I spent my day with and I had such a good day!...and yet here I am...baking muffins and listening to gospel music at 10:30 on a Sunday night...thinking about weather.

Weather. White people love complaining about the weather.

The warmth of the day made me nostalgic. I'd forgotten what warmth felt like. I also realized, this 76 degrees doesn't feel like California's 76 degrees. The weather here is different; the weather brings different feelings and memories. Everything is different. Rain, sun, cold, wind.
Mostly the wind.
Chicago wind breaks umbrellas. Chicago wind blows up your dress. Chicago wind makes incisions in your skin and makes a home right in your bones. Chicago wind rips the beanie completely off your head and carries it in its aggressive, choppy, abusive arms all the way down Wabash Avenue. Chicago wind makes you burst into laughter with its absurd and
California wind curls your hair. California wind carries the scent of churros, weed, and sea salt. California wind is a relief from the direct beams of sun shining on the back of your neck. California wind tickles. California wind is filled with Ke$ha lyrics and too much bass. California wind lifts you up.

It's not good. It's not bad. It's just different.
I appreciate the warmth in a way I never thought I would.
I appreciate the sun. I appreciate not having to wear two pairs of gloves.

The weather here is a really poorly timed, D list comedian style joke. On the first day of Spring it snowed quite a bit and as I was staring into our courtyard and thinking of all the terribly, horrible, awful, no good, very bad things I wanted to happen to the snow when I saw a singular, crunchy, burnt orange, weathered leaf fall from the roof and drift down and land so delicately atop the snow. Where did that come from? It's been 6 months since trees had leaves with colors that can only be found in Fall or underneath a jeep that has been driving too hard in the ocean water. How did it survive? And then I couldn't help but think that if that lonely leaf had kept its color and life through winter and  the beginning of spring, so could I.

My Easter was delightful; I couldn't have asked for better company or festivities.
I bought a purple dress and told people that that would bring Spring....I like to think I brought that back on my own. You're welcome.
I'm just wrapping it up by dreaming of my sweet California family, hymns, and all the cousins getting an equal amount of Easter eggs. The little things.