The Dating Chronicles of the Socially Inept

It's been brought to my attention that I might be the foremost expert when it comes to dating, so I thought I'd impart some of my wisdom onto you kind folks here in the blogospheric realm of the interwebs.

Things you DON'T say when someone is trying to kiss you:
1) Pico de Gallo
             Why are you talking about salsa? WHY. I feel like I could elaborate, but I think you can gather  why talking about salsa is makes little to no sense.
2) "Hoss is dead"
             No one knows what you're talking about. When you say "Hoss is dead" in reference to your phone being dead, no one knows that you're talking about something that happened 10 years ago when you were visiting your father's mentor and his son.
3) Bring up the fact that you just talked about Bonanza
             Why are you talking about visiting your father's mentor and his son? Don't. And if the person you're with doesn't know that you were referencing Bonanza when you talked about Hoss, which he probably doesn't, because he has a life, don't apologize for talking about Bonanza. He had no idea. Just keep going.
4) Sally Field.
              This one is tricky…because she is a goddess. So use your judgement on this one.
5) Ovaries
              I'm not sure why you brought the word ovaries into the conversation. Don't. Even if you're trying to say, "yeah, but you wouldn't really understand, because you don't have ovaries." it's not a good idea. He knows he doesn't have ovaries. Because he's a man. It's not a cute word. Don't say that…or intrauterine…or thrice. Which leads me to item number 6...
6) Talk.
           Just don't talk.

Something else, just as a tip, if you can't find a rubber band, don't try to tie your hair up with a straw. You'll end up looking like MacGruber instead of MacGyver, which is fine, just not super sexy. For the record, I'm not giving these tips because I've done them personally…I'm just saying, they're all things that sound like a bad idea...

DO:
I really haven't gotten that far in my research. Patience.

In other news, I'm going to be back in California this time next week. My first course of action will be to drink Coffee Bean on the beach. The 805 won't know what hit it.

Angry wind and Thanksgiving vigilantes.

Fear not, y'all, I haven't blown away. There are so many things I've learned since moving to the Midwest and the best thing yet, is that they are so used to terrible weather that it doesn't even bother them, it just makes them mad because they know they're missing a game. I am not in that boat. I started writing my will. I left my $20k in debt to my parents. (End Will.) I met the sweetest older woman who was my guide through the whole thing and even ended up driving me home (I mean, once we got the OK.) I was stuck at church, which is probably the best place to be. Who wouldn't want to be surrounded by little angels and prayer warriors in the midst of a tornado? Well, apparently this is mild weather, so uh..thanks, Chicago for being gentle…?

Thanksgiving with the California orphans. What a blessing it will be. I'm so excited to have my baby cakes, Scotty here. The first night involved a lot of homework, Flat Top and frozen yogurt…and the explosion of all the vessels in my face. Do you have those there? I think you do. Well, mine exploded from the cold. brr. What I learned this week is that I'm super thankful for all the support I get from back home. I moved across the country, ok? Like…super far away. Far from the sun, the love, the light, the support, and the comfort that is my home. My adorable little LA apartment, my perfect roomie, and my family and friends only to come somewhere I don't know. Typically, people feel abandoned, and that could not be more opposite in my case. I have parents who love me unconditionally and people checking on me from Hawaii, Colorado, Texas, and all over! I'm not sure what I've done to deserve so many incredibly loving, gifted, supportive, talented people in my life, but I'm grateful everyday for them. I also realized that my friends and I are BORING. We just are. We like to watch TV, take walks, ride the train, drive places, read, talk….that's about it. That's the coolest. I'm so blessed and excited that I have friends that are just as boring as I am. My best friend and I were talking about both wanted to paint our nails the same color, and my day was made. It's the little things, guys. It really is.

Thanksgiving is over and now it's Christmas. It's Christmas from now until mid-February in my book and all the nay sayers can just shut their faces.  I always get so irritated the weeks surrounding Thanksgiving. It's as if these little vigilantes start popping up from the ground and feel the need to fight for "Thanksgiving celebrations." NO ONE TALKS ABOUT THANKSGIVING ANY OTHER TIME. No one…that is, until they want you to slow down your Christmas lovin'. Well, now, that is no more. IT IS CHRISTMAS. Now, I'm grateful this Chicago winter is easing me in, because quite frankly, I'm not sure I'm ready for the abrupt change, but I"m leaving in 14 days and uh….there's been like, two days of snow flurries. GET IT TOGETHER, CHI-TOWN. I've been dreaming of a white Christmas for like…ever. and now I'm here…and nothing.
I did have the privilege of seeing Elf the Musical…just as incredible as it sounds. It is so cheesy and adorable, you can't help but smile. I'm never NOT excited for Christmas; it's not as though I need to have something put me in the Christmas spirit. If you were to tell me we were celebrating Christmas in April, I'd think that were the best idea ever, but there is something about seeing a movie or show that just sends me over the top. It's as if that is the switch and now all my Christmas merriment can be in full swing and here we are…in full swing. :)


Sad note: I am reading about Paul Walker's death and I'm hearing people talk about it and it breaks a piece of my heart each time I hear something new. It's odd how some people mourn the loss of someone they didn't know and really didn't care about until they were gone, and it's also funny how upset some people are by those people. Sometimes I wish we could all strip down news like that to the basics: A human lost his life.
The moment we stop being affected by news like that, we're doing something wrong.

HalloThanksGiveMeChristmas.

Halloween came. Halloween went. Who cares about halloween? Not I. I got cookies delivered to my door and I wore a black dress and pretended I was Jessica Lange. Am I the only one that can't get down with Halloween? I just don't care enough. I don't enjoy candy that much and it was raining here. I saw people walking down the street and they looked busted before they even went to the party! The coolest costume I saw was the suit and tie walking down the street with his briefcase and he had on a Daft Punk helmet. That guy wins all the points for Gryffindor. Speaking of Halloween, why do we love zombies so much? My roommate mentioned a Zombies in Media class my school offers, because art school, and I started to wonder why do we identify with zombies so much. That really doesn't say much about this generation if the one thing we really think represents us is a walking corpse. Our grandparents had Audrey Hepburn and Frank Sinatra and we get Kristen Stewart and dead people (….arguably the same thing)? I think we all look like zombies. When I get on my elevator EVERYONE has their headphones in…you're going down to the 2nd floor…that's not necessary! We're losing our ability to speak our thoughts, feel the feelings, and just BE with people. I"m making a commitment to leave my iPod at home more often and let me tell you, people are just as crazy as I thought they were and it's beautiful. Give it a try.

I had a friend visit me from California, well, she came from North Carolina, but whatever, and there's something incredible about having a piece of home brought to you and I was reminded AGAIN how much I love it here. THERE ARE LEAVES and a giant object that looks like a kidney chilling in the middle of downtown. That's all anyone needs in life! And it made me realize how comforted I am by the fact that I know I'm going to die in California. That's where my Third Act will take place. It's comforting because I know where I started and where I'll end up and it leaves the entire middle part open to interpretation. I'm dying in California, I don't need to live there…kind of exciting. And morbid. Mostly exciting.

I keep telling myself that I'll feel better about finishing my project if I create the right atmosphere. So, I have my coffee in hand, finishing a blow pop (that completely tore up the roof of my mouth. I can't be the only one that experiences that struggle), basking in the wonderful smell of a Lake Sunset candle, which really just smells like Spiced Vanilla, and a watching a million episodes of Boy Meets World. So my paper on sea otters…yeah…sea otters...will probably involve a lot of references to Cory and Topanga, because they are the answer to EVERYTHING. Totally right atmosphere. This project is practically doing itself now…No. Still me. Still not happening.

Oh and…:) I'm so excited for the snow. The joy. The glisten. The red and green. CHRISTMAS.

Hunchback Skype chats and "The Dance"

So, here's the thing about the weather in Chicago...yeah. It's cold.

Snow in October. SnOctober. NononononononononononononononononononoNO. STOP. It's OCTOBER. Hasn't this city seen the movies? It starts a week before Christmas, almost ruins Christmas and then it starts magically snowing a beautiful soft snow on Christmas Day. (I've seen a lot of Hallmark movies, I know how snow works.)

I pulled my first official all-nighter this week. That wasn't one of my best decisions. By all-nighter, I mean I drank coffee at midnight, which led to me singing Meet Virginia while prancing around my living room. Because college. So incase you were worried,  I haven't gotten any less awkward. The more I meet people the more I realize that. And I, much like my father, take a long time to process things. Is this something I should be doing? How do I feel about this? While everyone else is like, I don't know, Danielle. It's just lunch, make up your mind! It takes me a solid three weeks to warm up to people and I have definitely implemented the whole, "If you need an answer now, the answer is no." rule. I just really wanted to solidify my reputation as being the 23 year old with the personality of a 74 year old. And that's where I'm at (my motto for right now and the title of the book Scott and I are writing.)

I hate change. I really do. I'm the worst. My parents got a new fence in our backyard about 10 years ago and I'm still adjusting. Which is probably why I have friends for so long. I haven't really grasped that sometimes people aren't meant to be in your life forever. I like to think I'm really good at picking them, so why would I want to see them go? Something I really pride myself on is the ability to maintain friendships. Near or far, I like to think I'm good at keeping up with people, but there's a time when you have to let it go. I'm happy here. Genuinely happy. It's freezing cold, I wear nothing but frumpy sweaters, my dresses are packed away, and I still found my happiness. At some point, I need to realize some people can find their happiness without me. Stings, right? Like, that's not possible. I bring the Christmas cheer and sassy year round, there's no way someone is happy without ME. (Don't pretend you haven't thought it.) Then I realize, I want them to be happy. I want people to feel how I'm feeling, even though 94% of the time I'm really not sure what emotion that is. Hashtag WritersLife.


Also, in a (stupidly unsuccessful) attempt to avoid writing a paper, I got an Instagram. Always fashionably late to the party. Or, I'm there to help clean up...which seems to be the case this time.

Bring It All Back..SClub7 Style

First and foremost, I got (preordered) the new Gavin DeGraw and John Legend albums....if you're in the need for some good music that will make your heart happy, I'd recommend that. Gavin is back, y'all.

Let's talk about making friends. I'm in a new city, right? Making friends is part of the territory and let me just say that it is HARD. I'm the person that instantly invites someone over to my house...apparently that's not socially acceptable, it kind of makes you seem like you're crazy. I'm also a restless person; I need friends, and don't get me wrong, I've been making them, but it has made me appreciate my longterm friends that much more. In the scope of friendships, you have your Tuesday afternoon friends (the ones only good for lunch), the Thursday evening friends (when you watch your favorite TV show and make dinner), and your Saturday middle of night blew-a-tire-come-pick-me-up friends. All of them are great and needed! People say that a good friend will get you out of jail and your best friends will be there with you...No. That's wrong. Your best friend would talk you out of doing whatever dumb stuff you're plotting. I've come to realize that best friends are the people who will hate everyone you hate and help you plot their demise and then bring you back to reality. They let you be irrational and crazy and then say, "alright...so, let's reign it in now." I learned this when I was ranting to my best friend this week and she went right along with it and then brought me back to my Jesus lovin' roots. Best friends are people who know your internal monologue and still love you. So for that I say thank you to my best friend of 19 years, Joanna, and all the other pieces of my heart floating around out there that understand me better than I ever thought anyone would: Zac, Scott, Shayna, Alyssa, Justin, Calvin, Holly, Roland, Melissa and Carissa Ro. Thanks for allowing me to be angsty, hyper, pensive, and forgetful; for loving me on days I make you listen to instrumental music, Drake, System of a Down, Frank Sinatra and Kelly Clarkson...in a one hour time span; for letting me try cooking random meals; for letting me boss you around; thanks for letting me freak out over everything, because I do, and for being patient and walking me through basic life things; thanks for listening to me ramble like a crazy person over nothing and then saying, ok...feel better? shut up. go wash your face, go to bed; thanks for putting up with me when I don't have coffee in hand; for teaching me about myself; for listening to my random rants about nickels or cheese; thanks for listening to my church ramblings, and for letting me talk an hour after EVERY tv show I watch because I need to discuss human behaviour and writing plots. Thanks for letting me be awkward and 80. Thanks for watching Golden Girls and West Wing with me and for having conversations made up of only quotes from those tv shows. Most importantly, thanks for giving me more encouragement to be out here doing what I want to do. You all made it so I had no choice but to come here and you also made it impossible to want to say goodbye. I love you all more than you could ever know. 

JD

CuddleBunny

Mer-lissa

Roomie

The Fambam (minus papa bear and Dustin)

Scottifuss/JoshGroban

Ro-ro

  

Zachariah

Herrrly

Sticky/Wife/Joie

Kreesha

Calvin2/Calvinsquared (as my dad would say)

Broken Bad.

Breaking Bad, 5k and bars. OH MY.
These past couple weeks have resulted in me feeling all the feelings. ALL. THE. FEELINGS.

My friend, Malynda, is a one of those friends that convinces you to do things you wouldn't normally do. Sometimes you find yourself eating a vegan meal, going to Boys town at 2AM or paying someone to let you run...for the record, she convinced me to do all of those things..aannddd they all turned out really well. Boys town in Chicago could be it's own tv show, easily. MESS. My first trip I saw a guy get kicked out of a bar for letting an underage guy use his military ID and I witnessed, what I can only assume was, a tribal mating ritual. Wowza. Let me tell you...whoa. That night was shortly followed by the happiest 5K ever, THE COLOR RUN! It was awesome! I jogged. Let that sink in. Apparently, my trips to the gym have been paying off! Unfortunately, I still can't walk up 10 flights of stairs without breaking a sweat. Don't worry, not that much has changed, my dear friends.
Let's talk about Breaking Bad (no spoilers.) Uhm, I'm so in love with Bryan Cranston. The love I have for him is frightening. And Walter White. I don't care about his past (Daddy, I love him!) He's just the best. I am so pleased with the ending. I can't think of anything I would have changed (well, I can, but it's just because I'm a sap. Not because it was bad.) There was a huge hole in my heart after that fateful Sunday night when we said goodbye to one of the sweetest and most interesting love stories I've heard in years, but fear not!! Robin Williams TV show Crazy Ones and Allison Janney's show Mom are here to rescue you. Are these shows anything like Breaking Bad? No. Not even close. BUT, I feel (pretty much) equal amounts of love for all these actors; these shows are the only things keeping my heart in one piece.

COMPLAINERS. WHY. Y U DO DYS!? Nothing makes me want to kick in my own knee caps more than people who can do nothing but complain. Being here I have heard  so many people slowly become more and more negative. Uh, yeah, the water is out in our building for a few hours, but uh, we also live in a really nice, secure apartment in downtown Chicago for a good price....so maybe the world isn't shutting down (though the government is...EEK.)

I'm terrible at being a 20something. The worst, really. "No, I don't want to go out AGAIN. Didn't we just go out last month? Ugh. But Golden Girls reruns start in 15 minutes!" This is pretty much my thinking anytime anyone wants me to do anything. I will go camping, hiking, out to dinner, a show, whatever, don't make me go to a bar. I don't know how to interact with the bar creatures. There's something about a bar, people are so much more confident once they've had a few drinks, it's like they think they're wearing a Cloak of Ammunity or something. I'm also the worst at being hit on, which is what drunk people do. I'm always blown away that I've ever dated anyone. How did it happen? Because I'm the worst at pre-dating rituals. Anytime I get a compliment I get SO uncomfortable and my face shows it and last night I SERIOUSLY heard myself say, "Well, I mean, from a scientific standpoint they're genetically comprised..." Stop right there. Whatever we were talking about, whatever I was about to say, STOP. This is not how you do this, Danielle. BUT, I can't stop. This is my fate. This is my destiny. I'm really glad my niece and nephew are the perfect kids because if I keep using "genetically comprised" as my go-to flirting material, my parents are never getting more grandkids.

I'm a sucker for music. I know how much it affects me and I still let myself listen to the sappy stuff anyway. (Who let me listen to anything Michael Buble?!) I realized, as much as you can love a new experience you're having, you get to the point where you miss where you've been (I mean, unless that completely sucked.), but I've hit that point. I miss it, I truly, truly miss it and theeeennn I listened to John Mayer's song In Your Atmosphere, and I realized that's exactly what would happen if I went back home. I would burn up. You can't turn back because it's not comfortable all the time. Life would be much easier back home and a lot less scary, but I'd lose it. I have these realizations weekly. Stay with me. They'll stop eventually. ;)

Twerk Miley, Miley Twerk

Let's talk about the VMA's shall we? N'SYNC GOT BACK TOGETHER. How are we STILL talking about some girl being inappropriate while singing her song...which, by the way, is also inappropriate. Nothing makes me want to fork my own eyes out more than hearing people talk about Miley Cyrus. Look, she's not trying to be Celine Dion. She's trying to be shocking and get your attention. She's a genius. She won. N'sync got back together and we are talking about her scrawny self shakin' it on Beetlejuice. Also, yeah it's inappropriate for kids. WHAT ARE YOUR KIDS DOING WATCHING THE VMA'S ANYWAYS? It's trash city. I feel like that's the most illegitimate response to that. The song is inappropriate. MTV is inappropriate. There's a reason they aren't playing that on ABC or CBS primetime. You don't let your kids in a club and then complain about the fact that people were being trash-nasty (the behavior in a club is just as bad, if not worse, and they ain't even bein' paid!) Foolishness. Ugh. Rant over.

It's been another great week here. No complaints. I've written a lot of stuff that is (well, what I believe to be) pretty good! I'm getting more of a schedule. I've been getting back into the gym, which is looonnggg overdue. I signed up for a 5K. No, that's not a glitch. You're on the right blog. I, Danielle Durbin, am running a 5K. So, to my California friends, when we said goodbye was probably the last time I will ever see you. I'm fully prepared to meet my Maker. Speaking of which, I'm really feeling my church I've started going to, which is exciting. I met a very nice girl the first week I was here who brought me there and I'm really thinking it could be where I call home. I am enjoying the night life here. There are a lot of places to go and all kinds  of people to interact with, which can be a good or a bad thing. I got twerked on last night and was asked out by my cab driver from the South siiidddee. Chicago came to play. WOOF.

Completely unrelated side note: why do people feel the need to let you know you have the same name? That happened to me this week and I didn't now how to respond...smile and a thumbs up? Nothing magical happens. No bond is formed. Unless you have a CRAZY name, there's no need to get excited. I've never understood the importance of that. WHOA! You have a generic white girl name? ME TOO!  I'm over pretending I think it's a cute coincidence. It's not. Also, I had no say in the matter. Neither did you. So maybe our parents should high five and celebrate over the success of our, obviously kismet, meeting. Thanks, mom and dad!


I'm hitting my "Miss" phase. I miss LA. I miss my LA life. I miss my LA people. I miss my Sundays. I miss my cute little apartment. I miss the traffic. I miss the bad hip hop music. I miss driving through Glendale, Burbank, North Hollywood and then heading over to Santa Monica or Brentwood and the trips to Beverly Hills and the Grove. I miss day trips back to the Central Coast and my goodness, do I miss Coffee Bean. (also, my parents, but don't tell them. They have big enough heads.)
I've had the fortune of seeing two of my favorite California ladies this week, which was great and a nice taste of home! I have a few more weeks until my boys come to visit and I'm already looking at getting my ticket home for Christmas, which is crazy. It's not that long that I'm gone. It feels like all the time and no time...I don't get it either.

Sittin' on top of the world with your legs hanging free.

Chi-town is myyyy town. Alright, y'all. I made it to Chicago. I obtained my belongings, thanks to my parents mailing me my clothes. That's really all I needed. Clothes. DO you know how hard it is to not spend money when you have nothing to do all day? Uh. VERY. First world problems.
I feel like this place is home. I miss my dogs. I miss my family, but mainly my dogs and I feel like I have every right to say that because my parents love my niece and nephew more than they ever loved me or my sister. You can fact check that.
 So I just wrapped up my first week of college and WHOA. I mean. Wuh-oa. I am pretty much a fossil in college years. I'm old. I should be graduating. One of my required classes is a freshman class, which is precious because one of my classmates just turned 18....and just to put that into perspective for you, she couldn't see R rated movies, but she was in college. Soak that up. She's sweet as can be, my entire class is, I just walked into the room and was like, "oh. wow. they sent me a lot of nurses to make sure I made it to the 4pm Shuffle Board tournament."
Things I have learned since being here:
1) Sleep is needed and wanted...but no one indulges in it.
Now, you're thinking, "Danielle, everyooonnneee knows college kids don't sleep. DUH." But no. it's not the same. You want sleep...all day and THEN it's 3 AM and you think you're drunk because you're that hyper. WHY. All of a sudden I have a desire to gym it up at 2AM...what is happening?
2) Infectious accents. Much to my dismay, I am noticing a slight development of a mid-west accent (which, by the by, my roommates believe isn't a thing...I'll leave that there.)
3) I drink an obscene amount of coffee. That's it. That's the realization.
4) The train is the best way to make friends.   Ha. kidding. these people are crazy, but it is a good way to get dates! So far, I've been asked out by a middle aged security guard who had more than one loose screw, a girl, and a guy who sang me Drake and made sure the lyrics, "you're a good girl and you know it..." were reaaalllyyy creeptastic.


Awesome things that happened this week?
I found out Allison Janney has a new TV show. ANNDD I was able to buy a CJ Cregg worthy trench coat.  THAT'S ALL MY DREAMS COMING TRUE.

 My classes are really, pretty freaking awesome. My classmates are awesome anndd at the same time, it wouldn't be school if you didn't have that ONNNEEE classmate. There's always one. Everyone entering into a classroom is unanimous in the fact that you're there to learn, but there is always ONE that is there to teach YOU. They are only at this school to impart their wisdom on you...uh. thanks, bro. I can only hope I obtain a fraction of the knowledge that this 18 year old savant has to offer.

All in all, it's been a pleasing experience. I feel really good about being here; this is an experience I will not waste. I heard in church today, "If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world." There's no connection between this and anything I've said. It's just a brilliant quote. CS Lewis is where it's at. 

Lost at Sea

So, I'm kind of overwhelmed as to how to finish explaining my journey across the country. I feel like there's a kind of serenity and a kind of wisdom that comes from getting to see where you're from...granted, Im not from all those states, BUT, you always talk about other places and make up lives for those people. Ya know? Being from California, everyone assumes everyone else is miserable and that they have no lives because they're not in California, because we're a very cocky state, but that's not the case. I explained the first part of my trip which was pretty bleh, but as soon as we hit Oklahoma, we were walled in by trees. Green, bubble-topped trees blowing in the wind that stretched as far as the eye could see and this sky that seemed be unrolling in front of me. It stayed that beautiful for pretty much the duration of our drive. When we hit Memphis we were so excited to see a city, mainly because we felt like we weren't around ANYBODY. We couldn't understand where these people lived....like, the ones at the gas station...where is your house? I can't...whatever. We didn't even see a Starbucks until Georgia, which is crazy. Do you know how many states that is that we passed? A LOT OF MANY. I realized the reason we were so excited to see such trivial things, like you know, buildings and Starbucks, is because that's what reminded us of home. That's what we knew and what was familiar. That's when it hit me. These people here are different. WHOA. I mean, revelation of all the magnitudinal (made up word) proportions. While, I get excited to see buildings and the beach, these people are comforted by the trees and the breeze and the cicada bugs (even though I find them to be THE WORST.) It’s so different being in a place where it’s ok to just be in one place your whole place because California is filled with places that are all about progression. The city of LA is filled to the brim with hopefuls and has beens that are just waiting for their dream to happen or reliving the dreams they’ve already had the pleasure of living. These states aren't like that and this is the first time I realized that that isn't bad. These people were content. Not saying Southerners don’t have dreams, but their terms of happiness seem based on different things and that’s not necessarily bad. There’s nothing wrong with being content; that was probably the most shocking thing I learned in Arkansas, the people here aren’t crazy, bizarre or different... they’re just content and who am I to tell them that they need to be a business person, singer or lawyer to feel differently?   This trip was the best. I learned that I have the best family EVER. These people I barely know, haven't met or haven't seen in years, opened their house to me and two other ragamuffin looking creatures and let us stay, gave us food and offered to let us stay more. How cool is it to have friends willing to drive that far and family willing to house you and said friends? I have both. What a blessing. Now I'm here in this city, alone. Scary, kind of. It gets lonely. I walk around alone a lot. I eat a lot of meals alone. I see a lot of nature alone. I talk to God a lot. I worry a lot. I get nervous a lot. I question what I'm doing here...A LOT. And then I come to my senses and say what does it matter? This place feels like home to me. I love what I'm doing. What does it matter how long I stay out here doing my own thing? Eventually I will find my way to where I'm supposed to be. I will be found and that's a beautiful realization to have.

"I mean, look where we are!"

No where. That's where we were, but we were glad to be there. I spent the past few months trying to plan a road trip. My roomie from LA, Shayna, helped me plan it and we just kind of forced my other friend, Justin, into the car. Men aren’t very good planners.  Fact.  The first day we decided to just jam and get out about 14 hours of driving, because we figured that we wouldn’t want to see anything; probably the best choice we could have made. I don’t know if any of you have ever driven through the back roads of California, Arizona or New Mexico, but imagine  the place where all the boring and awful things are born….and then add like, a bajillion degrees. That’s what that drive is like. Flagstaff, AZ offered some much needed relief. Flagstaff was beautiful; trees, green, big , blue open skies, everything we needed! We met some sweet people, drank some gross, gross coffee and left. Theeeeeeen it was back to looking like the inside of an old crack pipe. We made it to Albuquerque, which is seriously where they make all the meth heads in the US; we didn't think we were gonna make it, we thought the storm that was brewing would kill us...uh. No. that happened in another state, on another day...anyways. The show Breaking Bad makes that place looks way better than it actually is. We got to our super swanky Motel 6 where we were greeted by stoned neighbors, LOUD neighbors, rain, probably a foot fungus lurking in the shower and bugs in our bed. Not bed bugs, just, ya know, BUGS. We left first thing in the morning, and were told a cheery “Good morning!” By the neighbors who had kept us up all night….Uh…WHY ARE YOU AWAKE? When I left that sad, sad town and thought, man. How blessed am I to have grown up in a place (and be heading to a place) that is so beautiful and isn’t the place where all good things go to die? 

This day wasn't very exciting. Mostly Justin drumming in the car and saying, "This is so cool!" And Shayna and I rolling our eyes. So, a typical day. 

 

Started from the Bottom now we...here?

T'was the night before moving, and all through the hotel all the creatures were stirring...because we're not going to sleep yet. 

Poetry's not my jam. Anywhoooo. I've taken a week long road trip across the US with two of my dearest friends in hopes that we would end up in Chicago alive and with all of my things (mainly just alive.) We survived!! I'm not sure how the trip back will look for that, but I mean, keep an eye on CNN for any breaking stories. Tomorrow, I leave St. Louis, Missouri, the last stop on this epic road trip (which I will definitely post more on a little bit later), and head to Chicago, Illinois...I won't be leaving that city. I will be there for weeks on end...because I will live there. THAT IS INSANE. I love being new in cities. There's something awesome about being that idiot that can't work the public transportation or thinks the most generic, lame coffee shop is awesome because it's in whatever new city you're in, but I also love when the city you're in becomes normal. When you stop finding that generic, lame coffee shop to be awesome and you can laugh at people who don't know how to jump on a moving bus, because that means you're home. My writing partner and friend, who for the sake of this story we'll call Tamara**, already lives there and she and I have already made these incredible plans and a list of all the awesome things we'll do...I'm just waiting for the city to be mine. I'm ready to be an Illinoisian and complain about the snow and how bad the Cubs are. I hope you're resting well tonight, Chicago, because after tomorrow, you'll never be the same and I hope I won't either.

**I didn't change her name, because that makes no sense. She's not in the witness protection program. 

The Genie's Liberation.

"Oh my gosh, you're leaving?!? Who is going to make my coffee? :("
Uhm...how can I put this delicately...I DON'T CARE. I'M FREE. Today marks the end of my three year run with Starbucks. I'm leaving a job at a Fortune 500 company that gives me benefits, stock options, vacation time and a steady salary to go into debt and write jokes. Maybe my parents gave me too high a self image. Eh. I digress. To all the cranky middle aged women, creepy old men, ridiculously entitled people with orders that make no sense and the people who come in and ask for the $5 foot long: GOOD RIDDANCE. To all the sweet, thoughtful, patient customers who listened, brought breakfast burritos, wine, presents and were just good friends, I thank you. You have made my three years of 3:45AM wake up calls worth it. This is the ending of an era for me and the beginning of a crazy adventure. Potentially being paid to WRITE? This is where life gets real; when you can stay up til 3:45AM writing and talking with friends and not smell like sugar free cinnamon dolce and espresso...all. the. time. This is life in color.

Is this thing on?

I've always been told I should start a blog. My excuses/reasons range from I'll never update it, to I don't have anything interesting to say, to no one will read it, flehflehfleh. Will I update it monthly? More than likely. Will I update it weekly? Maybe. Will I update it daily? Most definitely not. I've never been good at journaling; I never felt I had anything to say. I recently realized I had enough weird/interesting adventures that some of them should be documented. In two weeks I start a cross-country road trip to Chicago. Now, most people move somewhere they know or are familiar with, all I know is that it's Frank Sinatra's kind of town and if it's good enough for Ol' Blue Eyes, it's good enough for me.